How to play really scary games

By Ian Coppock

Before you go any further, I need you to stare at that picture of me. That's my scary game face.

The reason why I had you stare at that picture is because, though I seek out scary games like a drug addict seeks out a broken pharmacy window, I get scared too. Actually, terrified. After Short Horror Week, a bunch of my friends asked me how I could stand playing these games without crapping my pants, to which I immediately responded, "who said I didn't crap my pants"?

The point is that I can play horror games because I have a few tricks for doing so, and so does anyone else. None of us are immune to being terrified, though some of us might enjoy the adrenaline rush. If you're one of those people, or you're looking to get into enjoying the thrill of a scary game, I've taken the liberty of compiling some helpful strategies for doing so. Some of them are a little unconventional, but they helped me feel like I stood a chance against the monster/ghost/mad scientist at the end of the tunnel. Here we go.

Method One: Assume something nasty is around every corner

This is essential to playing any horror game. Scary games are scary because you have limited resources against which to fight a superior foe, so it's essential to pace yourself. Generally, you'll do better in horror games if you progress slowly. Make your character walk slower, and occasionally check behind you to make sure you haven't picked up any stalkers.

Take horror games SLOWLY. There's no point in running loudly around the next corner only to find something waiting for you.

Exploration in a horror game is a double-edged sword. The chance that you'll find an item you need is usually equal, if not less than, the chance of stumbling upon something unfriendly. Therefore, it's critical to assume something nasty is around every corner. Most games have a camera function that will allow you lean or look around corners, which is insanely helpful if you're being hunted by a less-than-amicable person or creature. If you still like to explore, I'd recommend doing so only if your character needs something like a first aid kit or flashlight batteries. Exploring is fun, but in a horror game it can mean death or soiling of the trousers if not done carefully.

Method Two: SNEAK

This is a big one. A monster is only as deadly as its ability to perceive your character. If the horror game you're playing has a stealth or crouch function, use the hell out of it. I've yet to encounter a game where the monster can find you as easily if you're tiptoeing, and I play too many games.

Sneaking is a great way to keep yourself out of unpleasant situations. 

This goes hand-in-hand with taking your time in a horror game. Patience is your greatest weapon for making it through one of these game alive. Explore carefully, walk silently, and use that crouch function. Take all the precautions you can to be as ghostly as the creatures looking for you, at least in the quiet, or um, not being there sense. Don't let your sense of fear or revulsion seize up those running controls, because that's exactly what the game designer (and the monster) want you to do.

In some games, like Slender: The Eight Pages, the monster already knows where you are. The best thing to do in this situation is to remain calm and refrain from whatever activity attracts it, in this case, running. This is another example where patience ultimately wins the day.

Method Three: Get Mad

I'm not kidding. Call me weird, but if I get mad at the monster I'm trying to beat or sneak by, it becomes a lot less scary. I'm no psychologist, but anger can be a great way to make the threat seem less horrific. For example, the only way I got through Slender was by telling Slendy to f*** off every time I saw him. By reducing him to something to yell at instead of something to fear, it became a lot easier to play the game.

At least for me.

SLENDY, GET OUT!! It's not cool to stare at me while I'm in the bathroom, you creeper!!

If this method sounds a little too silly or ridiculous, keep on truckin'. I used it because honestly, I didn't know how else to carry myself through some of these games, scary as they were. But, if you have the audacity to yell and swear at something, you're probably not as scared of it, right?

Method Four: Carry an inanimate object with you so you don't suffer alone

After reading that title, you're probably wondering why I deprave myself of sanity to the point where I pick up an object so I have a little friend against the monsters. If the game's that scary, is it worth playing?

Personally, I'd still say yes. But you're welcome to raise an eyebrow if you so choose. I wouldn't blame you.

Portuguese note!!!! You'll be my friend, right? Right??? RIGHT???? Oh God please be my friend...

One time I was playing a game called Amnesia: The Dark Descent, a game where you descend alone into the monster-infested bowels of a 19th-century castle. Most of the game is extremely dark and unsettling, and it took me a while to work around to playing it, much less progressing. At the beginning of the game, I picked up a wooden crate, named it Bogsworth, and took it with me. It started out as a joke, but I started feeling like having Bogsworth with me meant that my character wasn't suffering alone. Bogsworth was a comforting constant, a port in the monster storm. An object to which I grew attached that gave me comfort in the horrible darkness. A monster might have been after me, but at least I had this box which I'd started to love, who would be there in case I got mangled and left to bleed all over the Prussian tapestry. No one should die alone.

If I get mental hospital people at my doorstep in the next few hours, I won't begrudge any of you for picking up that phone.

Method Five: Take a break

Don't ask me how something this obvious belongs after my crazy-people methods, but it seemed like a nice way to wrap up the article. Sometimes, a game can be just too much. There's a line between being scared and being disturbed, and if you feel like you're starting to cross it, leave your computer and go do something else for a while. Much as I love horror games, they can get quite intense sometimes. If you need a break from the adrenaline and terror rush of avoiding monsters or exploring a scary environment, that's normal. Drink tea, read a book, or create a support system for the scariness. Doing so will make it much more dignified if you start screaming for your mother.

I hope this guide helps, please let me know your own strategies for playing scary games, or if some of my methods just didn't work for you. Also, tell me about your favorite scary games and why you like to get creeped out! Thanks for reading, everyone. I'll see you on Tuesday with another game review :D

Love,

Ian

Post-script: The images in this article came from (in order) Amnesia: The Dark Descent, Dead Space concept artwork, Slender: The Eight Pages, and Pesadelo.