Bayonetta

Rediscover your identity and halt a plot to remake mankind

Release: November 5, 2010 (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)

By Ian Coppock

Like many self-respecting video game critics, I try my best to break out of the usual game genres and find things I'm not very familiar with. This journey is a double-edged sword, because just as I might find something awesome, I may also find something that is just too weird or too controversial for me to handle. Bayonetta incorporates elements of both; it's awesome, but it's also weird and controversial.

The Story

As detailed in the game's excruciatingly long opening cinematic, the world of Bayonetta has for millennia been a battleground between the Umbra Witches and the Lumen Sages. The cults consist of evil women and upstanding men, respectively (and isn't that a lovely commentary on gender politics).

These groups seek to control the world but eventually agree to a truce a few centuries before modern times. However, the truce breaks and they destroy each other in a massive war. Flash-forward to modern times and we meet the title character Bayonetta, an ass-kicking but amnesiatic witch who woke up at the bottom of a lake twenty years ago.

Are you with me so far? Because this isn't getting any less complicated.

Sexualized much? Some may say that it's only fair to call her stylized. Me? No.

Bayonetta is an Umbra Witch, apparently the last one alive. She spends her days searching for a magical stone that she thinks contains her memories, all the while fending off legions of angels who've come to drag her off to Paradiso (heaven) for the unholy crime of wielding demonic powers. She's aided in this endeavor by Rodin, a demonic gun-runner who operates out of a classy bar, and Enzo, an unforgivably annoying underworld errand boy.

As you can probably infer from these screenshots, the sexualization and outright fetishism going into this character couldn't be more obvious if it was wearing Christmas lights and screaming "LOOKIELOOKIE!" Nearly everything Bayonetta has to say contains a dirty double-meaning, as does sucking on her lollipop and even holding a gun. Her legs are disproportionately long, and she wears a thin suit made of her own hair. Coy is too nice a word for the look and mannerisms of this character.

I can't even imagine how tasty that lollipop must be. That's why she's making that face, right?

Anyway, Enzo tells Bayonetta that he's found the stone she's after, and she rides off to Europe to look for it in the fictional city-state of Vigrid. She encounters increasingly large numbers of enemies as she looks around, and Rodin comments that the whole place seems too close to Paradiso.

Bayonetta exists in Purgatorio, meaning that she moves around in the real world but no one sees her. In addition to angels, Bayonetta is also pursued by some dude named Luka, who seems torn between wanting to kill Bayonetta and wanting to date her.

These two are interesting. Luka is still annoying as hell.

Everything takes a turn for the weird when Bayonetta finds a little girl who claims to be her daughter. Recalling no such progeny, Bayonetta reluctantly decides to watch over her and let her tag along into ridiculous battles. The trio form an unlikely partnership as they advance closer to the heart of Vigrid, and the truth behind the witch's identity.

The relationship between Bayonetta and Cereza, the little girl, is actually quite amusing.

Though saying that Bayonetta is sexualized is the understatement of the century, the character does have a few redeeming qualities that I found tolerable. The game does a good job of portraying an inner loss of confidence and a yearning to be whole again. I laughed out loud at some of her dialogue, and not just because it was awkwardly written and badly conveyed Japanese screenwriting. The other characters are vacuous and largely forgettable, which I guess helps to keep the spotlight focused on Bayonetta.

Bayonetta's character isn't without some deeper qualities, but let's just say that if Platinum Games had focused on that instead of her cleavage...

The main reason I like Bayonetta is because the gameplay is actually really fun. The game is a hack-and-slash adventure that eschews the very best of old-school Japanese beat-em-ups. You can build up magical power to crush angelic enemies, and the controls are quite fluid. Bayonetta can switch effortlessly between melee and gun attacks, and quickly dodge would-be-decapitation. Time also slows down every time Bayonetta dodges an attack, which makes for satisfying vengeance. You can also unlock some pretty kickass powers, like turning into a panther.

Bayonetta's gameplay is very well-designed. This is also the first time I've ever kicked someone with a giant heel.

True, this game has a bit of a learning curve, but if I can surmount it, any of you certainly can do it. The loading screens also feature a practice room where you can try out different combos before hitting the actual mission. Bayonetta faces off against hordes of angelic creatures with different weapons and attributes, as well as truly gigantic bosses that have six or so health bars (don't worry, checkpoints are frequent).

I don't know if you'll find these depictions of angels in the Bible, but they make for challenging enemies.

Overall, the gameplay is extremely solid and made this game fun (which is great, because the story is so ridiculous and hard to follow that I'd get frustrated otherwise). Though Bayonetta is fighting angels, she's less a villain and more a hard-hitting anti-hero. The angels are also up to something that is only debatably good for mankind. I really respect this game for taking something traditionally black-and-white and graying it up a bit.

The Artwork

Bayonetta shines well in the artistic department. Platinum Games created a visually intriguing world when designing this game, fusing cutting-edge modernity with ideas of paradise and inferno. The city of Vigrid is a gleaming angelic citadel that incorporates modern-day life into its graceful arches and cathedrals.

Vigrid is a strikingly beautiful setting, and very appropriate for a game combining this many motifs.

As much as I liked Vigrid, I liked Paradiso even more. Bayonetta finds herself in the homeland of her enemies more than once, and these environments were breathtaking. When complimented with gentle music and a few angels to boot, it made for a very immersive environment.

I loved the levels set in Paradiso. They were strangely relaxing, even with the hordes of angelic enemies.

Overall, Platinum's environments are beautifully designed but they also rang a bit sterile. Similar to Call of Duty, everything was really shiny and well-kept, which sometimes made me feel like I was in an art museum and not a breathing world. The music isn't anything special, but it works, and the character animations are just fine.

Should I get it?

I don't know. Bayonetta is a fun game with good gameplay, but the story line is pretty weak and purchasing it means supporting one of the most sexualized portrayals of women in the video gaming industry, and isn't that a sobering thought. This game was a gift to me, and I'm not sure I would have picked it up on my own. You decide. If you can swallow principle for about 8 hours of hack-and-slash fun, then nothing's holding you back, but the progressives out there who take issue with feeding money into games like this might reconsider.

Thank you so much, everyone, for your patience. I hope this review was to your liking and will kick off a series of high-energy reviews after too long away. Thanks for reading :D

On Monday I'm reviewing one of the greatest games ever made. For those of who unfamiliar with this picture, prepare for one hell of a wake-up call.