This is why I haven't posted anything in over a week

Hey everyone,

Let me begin by apologizing profusely for not posting a review in over a week. I feel terrible about it. There's been a lot going on in my life and with my computer preventing me from getting back to doing what I love: telling you guys why video games are good or terrible.

About a week ago, my laptop suffered the technological equivalent of an aneurysm. My computer's motherboard, its brain and nerve center, died for reasons I can only guess at. Getting that fixed has been a tremendous pain in the ass. I had to ship my computer back to Dell, and am currently using an old, beat-up laptop that I had to fire up and reconfigure.

The life stuff is just life. You know what I mean by that, I hope; getting assaulted by obligations and tasks from all sides and in such ridiculous volumes as to temporarily halt the other things you have going on. I'm happy to report that these too have subsided.

I'm posting a video game review this evening; you can take that to the BANK. I appreciate your patience more than you could ever know, and rest assured that your faith in me has not gone to waste nor has been forgotten. Thank you for reading. I'm back on track with everything now, and we can all get back to discussing games.

Love,

Ian :D

Undertow

Fight to survive in a world covered by oceans

Release: November 21, 2007 (Xbox 360)

By Ian Coppock

Today's review has to do with the notion of supporting your local economy. Shopping at everything from farmer's markets to mom-and-pop stores helps keep money in the community and results in a better combined economy overall. I say these things because today's game comes from an independent studio near Salt Lake City, Utah, where I live: ChAIR Entertainment. SLC has a growing independent developers' community whose products I hope deserve support. Is Undertow worthy of this prestige? Let's see.

The Story

With Undertow, ChAIR envisioned a world in which all continents have been flooded, and the planet reduced to a worldwide ocean. Years before the events of the game, a mysterious race of aliens called the Elect arrived to Earth and melted the polar ice caps. The resultant flood killed most of the human population.

Though there were few humans left, groups of them banded together to develop aquatic technology. The game focuses on Jason Rake, a pirate-turned-mercenary. Rake is captured by the British during a daring raid over the submerged ruins of London, and is pressed into service with the Iron Marines, an elite group of divers. In exchange, he'll be allowed to live.

I guess that's it for the phrase "a spot of tea out by Big Ben."

Rake begrudgingly begins working for his former enemies, attacking pirates and defending British interests in the Atlantic. After a few missions, matters get turned on their head when his divers are duped into attacking another nation's base.

The assault sparks the attention of other factions, and Jason is soon at the heart of a conflict between not just two, but four, groups all fighting for control of the ocean.

When Rake attacks what he thinks are pirates, the other faction responds with a declaration of war, plunging the sea into chaos.

The game's factions are diverse and cool-looking, but when you put all of them together, the story sounds a bit ridiculous. After the human group, the second faction is led by none other than Jules Verne's Captain Nemo. In Undertow's continuity, Nemo survived the events of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, and founded a massive underwater metropolis for other humane expatriates. Nemo is kept alive by... actually, it never really says how Nemo is still alive after about 300 years. Plot hole.

Captain Nemo is one of the game's main characters, but it's never explained how he's still alive. That's Undertow's rendition of the Nautilus in the background. The Nemo-ites were my favorite faction because of their cool steampunk submarines.

The game's third faction is the Atlanteans, who are presented in Undertow as half-human, half-fish immortals with magical powers. The Atlanteans see the alien attack as their chance to restore their rule over humanity, and are led by the bloodthirsty Helena in this endeavor.

Atlanteans now? Okay, I'm stumbling a bit, Undertow, but I'm trying to follow you.

The fourth faction are the aliens who attacked Earth, the Elect, who are presented as the common enemy of the other three factions. Undertow's story is pretty weak, overall. There's no character development, we never see the faces behind all those diving masks, and though the dialogue is reasonably well-written, the Atlantean stuff is riddled with all sorts of cliches.

Undertow plays like Star Wars: Battlefront II were it a sidescroller. Players pick one of four soldier classes and zoom around submerged maps, picking off enemies until the opposing faction's army counter runs down to 0. Players must also capture spawning points for their units. Whoever runs out of units first loses the match. Undertow's single-player campaign isn't really a narrative so much as a bunch of multiplayer maps against the computer, sprinkled with very quick cutscenes.

Players must side-scroll around the map, taking out enemy subs and divers.

Undertow is reasonably fun once you get the hang of it, but it's extremely repetitive and grind-heavy. I'd kill 200 enemy units in one match, take a 5-second cutscene break, and then sigh as I faced off against another batch of baddies, just in a different map. 

Also, this game has a vicious learning curve. The normal difficulty is soul-crushingly difficult. I couldn't even get past the first level on anything higher than Easy difficulty. I think this game was aimed at quick-fingered Call of Duty maniacs, because I noticed similar patterns of suckage between my performance in Undertow and my Call of Duty matches.

Sloth-like reflexes have no place in the future. If the earth floods, I'm screwed.

Undertow's AI is also pretty predictable. Once I caught onto its nuances, I could usually beat maps with a single tactic. The most effective one I used was taking control of a sub, driving it to a place near the surface, and just pooping endless volleys of missiles onto enemy installations.

Undertow isn't bad so much as mediocre. Repetitive gameplay, super-weak story, high difficulty and AI predictability all combine to make a super-streamlined but simplistic game.

The Artwork

Undertow's graphics are... well they're not terrible, but they're not great, either. I'll give ChAIR a bit of a break because indie studios can't afford Crysis-level graphics engines, but I was still expecting better than this, even for a game released in 2007.

Undertow's graphics were sub-average. The character animations were shaky, and the lack of facial animations was disguised by everyone always wearing a frickin' mask.

 Undertow's underwater environments are beautifully designed. A lot more detail was put into the maps and the environments you visit than the character models. Jason Rake and his friends visit forests of giant kelp, submerged ruins, shipwrecks, buttes, and other formations in the campaign. I thought these were the most impressive feature of the game.

Undertow's environments are cool enough to explore, if you can get past the chaos that is the campaign.

I can't remember any of Undertow's music, which means that it either had none or the music isn't worthy of mentioning. The voice acting and other sound effects weren't anything special. I didn't really think positively or negatively of them, they were just kind of... there.

Should I get it?

Meh. I was hoping to find a better locally-made game, and they definitely are out there, like Shadow Complex and the Infinity Blade series. I wish that everything that came out of my general living space was awesome, but, like with everywhere else that makes games, I've got to cover the good and bad, and what the community can do to make things better. Undertow is perfectly playable, but unless you're into really repetitive, grinding, chaotic battles, I'm not sure I'd bother. $10 on Xbox LIVE.

I've received a request to review the craziest, most insane game I've ever played. It has some surprising redeeming qualities and I had a lot of fun with it, but still, these thoughts can't help but enter my head when I'm battling an angel the size of the moon.

Amnesia: The Dark Descent

Pursue a madman into the depths of a monster-infested castle

Release: September 8, 2010 (Linux, Mac, PC)

By Ian Coppock

Too many are the horror games that coddle us. Much as I love the Dead Space series, most of the scares are muted by the reassurance of overpowered weapons. The Resident Evil series has long stopped pretending to be a horror franchise, and Silent Hill? The buck stopped years ago at its second installment. Games that pit a well-armed intruder against monsters aren't scary so much as startling. Amnesia: The Dark Descent knows this, and avoids this, and in doing so is a horror masterpiece. It is my fifth favorite game of all time. Not only is it actually scary; it's the most terrifying game I've ever played.

The Story

Like everything else about it, Amnesia's narrative is disorienting, scary and mysterious. The game is set in 1839. You are Daniel, a young British man who wakes up in a remote castle. All he can remember is his name.

After several minutes of exploring creaking hallways and abandoned rooms, Daniel finds a note written to himself. It explains that his former self drank an amnesia-inducing potion, though it doesn't specify why. The note also urges Daniel to kill Alexander of Brennenberg, the German noble who owns the castle.

Daniel finds the note to himself shortly after waking up. My mind immediately began brewing with questions. Why did Daniel erase his own memory? Why kill the German baron? Why is he in this goddamn creepy castle in the first place?

In addition to this chilling directive, the note adds that Daniel is being pursued by some kind of terrible creature. It can't be physically perceived or mortally wounded, and thus far, the only solution former Daniel found for dealing with it was to run, run, run his ass away. The Shadow, as former Daniel called it, is an invisible, seemingly omnipresent being that is pursuing Daniel for reasons unknown.

The Shadow is a terrifying foe. It cannot be fought or even seen, but it leaves behind a meaty, bloody residue wherever it goes. Throughout the game, it startles Daniel by roaring at him and will sometimes impede his progress.

With the Shadow blocking all exits, Daniel has little choice but to hunt for Alexander and hope that a solution presents itself. He begins exploring the castle, visiting lavishly furnished rooms and wings in search of a way down.

As Daniel solves puzzles and explores the castle, you get the sensation that the Shadow isn't the only thing after him. Distant growls, creaking floorboards and sudden crashes gave the impression that I had more to worry about than just an invisible, all-present spirit-thingy. I started catching glimpses of strange people limping in the halls.

Woah, what is that? Should I say hi?

As the game progresses and you get deeper into the castle, these creatures are revealed to be horrifically mutilated monsters. And they're searching for you.

OH MY GOD!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING!?!?!?! GAH RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN RUUUUN!!!!!

Though the monsters are certainly scary enough on their own, what makes Amnesia truly terrifying is the limitations it puts on your character. Daniel has no means of self-defense. No plasma cutters, no machine guns, not even a kitchen knife. Your only means of surviving the monsters are to run and hide, and hope they don't find you. Daniel can hide behind objects and inside cupboards. Of course, you can also run like hell and hope for the best.

Ohgodohgodohgod... please don't look inside... please don't find me... (sobs)

Unfortunately, staying alive isn't as simple as hiding. In addition to Daniel's health, players must also manage his sanity. Daniel has a crippling fear of the darkness and loses sanity if he stays in shadows for too long. He also loses sanity from looking at the mutilated creatures pursuing him, or from witnessing disturbing events and sights, like a pile of dead bodies or a pool of blood. As Daniel loses sanity, the visuals on your screen begin to look hazy and blurry. Daniel also suffers terrifying hallucinations, like hanging corpses, swarms of cockroaches and deformed artworks.

When Daniel's sanity is high, this painting looks normal. On low sanity? Not so much.

Daniel has a lantern and tinderboxes for lighting candles, but tinderboxes are rare and your lantern runs down oil quickly. Of course, being lit up like a cheery bonfire makes it really easy for monsters to spot you, creating a constant battle between keeping your sanity and keeping your body parts.

Daniel regains sanity by progressing through the game. In addition to avoiding monsters, players must solve puzzles, some of them quite complex, in order to make progress. Throughout the game, Daniel must mix chemicals, fix machinery and read books, among other things, to get closer and closer to his target.

The puzzles in this game are challenging and fun. Sometimes the pressure ramps up when you have to solve them while avoiding a monster. Don't worry; the game gives out English subtitles when you scroll over a Latin nameplate.

As Daniel fixes, eludes and lights his way to Alexander, he finds pages from his diary and begins piecing together the events that brought him to Castle Brennenberg. It is revealed that Daniel is a junior archaeologist from London, who took an expedition to an ancient African tomb in the months before Amnesia. Within, Daniel found a strange, glowing orb.

After finding the orb, everyone Daniel came into contact with got brutally murdered, as if flayed to pieces by a psychopath. Desperate, Daniel steals his mentor's address book and writes letters all over Europe asking for help. He can't help but feel the orb has something to do with the deaths. He gets an immediate reply from Alexander of Brennenberg, a German noble who promises protection.

Amnesia isn't just a mindless scare-fest. It has a rich and detailed story worthy of Stephen King.

Daniel also starts to unravel the truth about Alexander, and learns that it's tied up with the reason he drank the amnesia potion. Alexander poses as a charming noble, but it becomes clear that there's something more, something monstrous, behind the facade. The orb is part of a greater mission that the baron wishes to undertake.

It's hinted that Daniel was present, even implicit, in this mission, and now his past self wants Daniel to kill Alexander. Daniel can only find the entire truth by descending deeper into the castle, caught between the pursuit of the Shadow and the minions of Alexander.

The Artwork

Amnesia was developed by an independent studio with limited resources, so the graphics aren't great. They're certainly good enough, but certain areas had noticeable lacks of detail. I was usually too busy running away from monsters to notice, though.

Amnesia is nothing if not creative with the macabre.

Most of the environments in this game, though, are wonderfully detailed. You explore archives laden with books, maps and other colorful materials, as well as laboratories, wine cellars and lavishly-furnished living spaces. Though some of these areas are inhabited by monsters, that didn't reduce their visual value for me.

That's quite a lovely parlor- hello random rockslide, happy you could join us.

Of course, just as some areas are rich with 19th-century furnishings and decorations, everything reinforces the feeling of fear, subtly or not.

Oh well that's just upsetting.

The real gem of Amnesia's artwork is its sound design. The team at Frictional Games deserves medals for creating rich, incredibly detailed sounds. Doors creak so creakily that I wondered if they were the creakiest doors of all. Everything from the sound of Daniel taking out his lantern to sorting through books was so crisp and... just... I don't know how to describe them, they were rich sounds!

Let me think... you know how on certain games, the guns just sound good? The shots and the reloads are satisfying in the same way as a beat in your favorite song? That feeling of satisfaction is what I got from Amnesia's sounds. The voice acting was excellent, the dialogue was well-written, and the sound effects ambient and otherwise were quite effective at drawing me in. The game's score is similarly well-done.

The music in this game is fitting for every situation. When Frictional was conducting the monster music, I'm pretty sure they tasered the entire violin section.

The game's levels are also designed quite nicely. The layouts are relatively simple, but Frictional jumbled them up with lots of object arrangements, sights, sounds and the occasional monster. The game isn't totally polished, but perhaps that adds to a horror game.

To sum up, Amnesia is definitely the best horror game of the past few years. True horror comes from being alone and against incredible odds. That feeling of suspense is accented by a strong narrative, a strong reason to care, as well as the visuals, sights and sounds that freeze blood and commence the cries for mother. I seek horror experiences for that primal sensation of adrenaline, the challenge that comes from going up against the terrifying in a battle of wits and dry pants.

If that line of logic doesn't sound quite logical, just nod and smile.

Should I get it?

As much as I wish everyone could enjoy Amnesia, I know that a lot of people aren't into crapping their pants and jumping out of their seats (weirdos). I can only recommend Amnesia for hardcore horror enthusiasts. Regardless of who you are and how many horror games you've played, you will get scared. You will jump. You will shout. You will cringe. But if you are a thrill seeker who loves the rush that comes from something scary, you will love Amnesia. If you're interested in the story but not so much the gameplay, I'd recommend checking out the Amnesia wiki or some Let's Players on Youtube. Amnesia: The Dark Descent is available on Steam for $20. You might also try your luck with a physical copy on Amazon. 

Thanks for reading, everyone. Next week we're headed back into the ocean, not for another round of Shark Attack, but for the future of humanity. Ironically enough, this game about massive bodies of salty water was developed right here in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Xotic

Save a beautiful planet from the clutches of an omnipresent monster

Release: September 15, 2011 (PC, Xbox 360)

By Ian Coppock

Some video games are best played alone; Metroid Prime is the best example of this. For those of you who missed out on perhaps the greatest video game released on the GameCube, Prime follows a bounty hunter as she explores a beautiful world that's been long abandoned. Critics and gamers alike praised the feeling of isolation and solitude that came with Prime. It's not a feeling of loneliness, it's a guilty-pleasure treasure trove of sights and sounds that is acutely personal in its delivery. It differs from other games because you are literally alone, with only creatures and space pirates to keep you company. I've found that same atmosphere lacking in the current generation, until I discovered Xotic, a bizarre and colorful indie game that I'm presenting to you for that very reason: it's a treasure trove of sights and sounds.

The Story

The story of Xotic takes place on a nameless alien world. You are a similarly nameless creature who has been charged with saving the world from the Orb, a malicious, god-like being from outer space. 

After eons spent as an intangible creature, the Orb wishes to feel again, but can only do so by growing and then inhabiting thousands of glowing red plants called scabs. Scabs choke the life out of the planets the Orb touches, though, meaning that it eventually has to pack up shop and plonk down on another world to feed again.

The Orb's story is definitely a tragedy. It only wants to feel again, but it's willing to sacrifice whole worlds to get its way.

Where your character comes from or what it is, exactly, is unknown. It's implied that the alien you play has cleansed worlds of the Orb's presence before, or has been created to clean multiple planets out of the glowing red gunk. Your character's primary weapon is the Macro Terra, a living, insect-shaped weapon that has symbiotically bonded to you.

Your character is guided by an unknown narrator whose synthesized voice reminded me of the Reapers from the Mass Effect series. You and your Macro Terra must complete about 22 levels divided into four regions. In each one, the objective is simple: destroy creatures that have been infected by the Orb, and wipe out as many scab plants as possible.

Each of Xotic's levels contain enemies mutated by the Orb. A lot of them look like evil, anthropomorphic palm trees.

Xotic's primary game mechanic is a score and combo tracker. You rack up tons of points for destroying more and more numbers of scabs. The plants cause splash damage when shot at, and are conveniently lined up into neat rows for maximum pointage.

I don't normally care about combos and points and things like that, but Xotic made it really fun. The game rewards exploration and creativity, which are traits I like to think I'm good with (hopefully). In addition to the scab plants, there are floating point pickups you can grab for additional scores.

The scab plants are the glowy red things. You can also find and destroy Orb brains, which add more points.

I like Xotic because it brings that same element of isolated exploration to the table that Metroid Prime did. You are alone against hordes of baddies and pickups, but it's not the tone of a survival horror game. Rather, it's like having a big, beautiful world all to yourself.

What breaks my heart about Xotic is that the gameplay is quite clunky. Your character jumps like the world has no gravity, making it difficult to judge distances and height. For whatever reason, it's also next to impossible to move your gun as you're shooting it. I died a few times because I had to move my Macro Terra's path to match a speeding enemy's, but couldn't stop firing at it because I'd die otherwise.

MUST NEVER STOP SHOOTING! AAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Your character can deploy a shield called the Hard Hologram for combat and platforming, but I found it getting in the way more often than being helpful. It takes practice, but these headaches are surmountable. With each level completed, you gain points that you can use to upgrade your character.

Xotic's upgrade trees are simple to navigate.

The Artwork

Xotic's graphics are hardly top of the line, but I found them good enough. The level design is somewhat mediocre, and I found myself doing lots of backtracking to find all of the enemies and goodies. Enemies are sometimes hidden in similarly colored environments, so seeing them can be a challenge. 

Xotic is not without gameplay and level design issues, but the worlds are still quite beautiful.

Xotic's landscapes are... well... exotic. Your character visits underground temples, desert canyons, glass cities and other environments in his quest to free the planet from the Orb. The stark beauty of these environments and their relative uniqueness kept me very interested in the game throughout the adventure.

The game is also complimented by a contemplative, beautiful score. The music features overlays of electronica and dance, but remains quiet and cool in its sound. It was very fitting for what the game tries to accomplish.

I can't photograph sound, so here's a picture of my favorite level, a desert marketplace.

The feeling of solitary exploration is evident in Xotic's level and game design. Hidden caches of pickups, occasional but not overwhelming enemies; the game pays strong homage to Metroid Prime whether it knows it or not. You don't need to find all of the scabs or pickups to progress, though, which I was grateful for. 

There are also bonus levels which contain nothing but scabs and pickups, allowing you to rack up massive combos. If you're one of those people whose gaming is meaningless without a leaderboard, breathe easy, because Xotic has lots of them.

Xotic is nothing if not a bright,colorful study of contrast.

Should I get it?

Xotic is an interesting game, to say the least. It has a bizarre idea and environmental artwork seldom seen. It's marred by some annoying gameplay issues that seem to have never been resolved, but if you like to explore and think you can stand the headaches I mentioned up top, then grab $5 and try it out. I beat it in about four hours on a diet of water and green tea, so it's by no means impossible.

Thursday's game is... well it's not pleasant. Actually, it's the scariest, goriest, most terrifying game I've ever played in my life, but that's why it's in my top five. See you on Thursday :D

Sleeping Dogs

Topple a Chinese crime syndicate from the inside

Release: August 13, 2012 (PC, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)

By Ian Coppock

Too numerous are the gun games that are all steak or all sizzle. They're either repetitive grind-heavy campaigns with a very skeletal narrative (Lost Planet 2), or a series of timed setpieces that look really cool but force the player to watch quietly (much of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3). Gamers looking for a more in-depth alternative turn to violent open-world games like Grand Theft Auto, a series that's stuffed with bad design choices but given a free pass because it's possible to destroy legions of hookers with a stolen rocket launcher. Sleeping Dogs is also an open-world shoot-em-up, but it contains one of the best narratives I've seen in recent video gaming. It's been said that this game is a Grand Theft Auto clone; nay. GTA wishes that it was a clone of this game.

The Story

Even having finished the game and most of the DLC, the meaning behind the title Sleeping Dogs eludes me. I choose to think that it alleges to dogs only being as dangerous as their state of alertness, or something, which is fitting because this game is all about infiltration.

Sleeping Dogs takes place in modern-day Hong Kong, and follows Wei Shen, a young Chinese-American police officer who spent his childhood in Hong Kong but his teen and early adult years in San Francisco. Because of his keen knowledge of the triads, China's largest crime syndicates, Shen is borrowed from the San Francisco police department and seconded to Hong Kong. His mission? Infiltrate the Sun On Yee triad and bring it down from the inside.

Wei Shen is the protagonist of Sleeping Dogs. He's an undercover cop, but the street gang he's thrown in with doesn't know that.
Do they?

Shortly after returning to Hong Kong, Wei is arrested and placed in the same jail cell as his childhood friend and Sun On Yee errand boy, Jackie Ma, who promises Shen a place in the organization upon their release. Shen's status as a cop is known only to a handful of other officers, including by-the-book handler Raymond Mak and ruthless superintendent Thomas Pendrew.

Upon release, Wei throws in with the Water Street Gang, a Sun On Yee group led by Winston Chu, another childhood acquaintance. From there, Wei must embark upon dangerous missions to prove his loyalty to the Sun On Yee.

Having already caught and killed another undercover cop, the Sun On Yee is immediately suspicious of newcomers. Wei  is forced to rely upon his wits as much as his skill with a gun to earn the trust of the syndicate.

As Wei shoots, steals and intimidates his way around Hong Kong, he becomes the victim of numerous inner conflicts. He's torn between his loyalty to the people he ran with as a child, who protected and befriended him in tough times, and his loyalty to the law. He also suffers guilt from the numerous robberies, assaults and murders he must commit in order to infiltrate the syndicate and serve the greater good. 

All of these conflicts made the game significantly more interesting to me than Grand Theft Auto, in which the protagonist is an uncomplicated thug who just wants to climb the ladder. Wei's ascent up a similar ladder is dogged by his inner demons and his mission as an undercover officer. At the same time, I found myself becoming attached to the gang as Wei got to know them better. Winston Chu became less an angry street thug and more an aspiring family man, who soon has Wei helping him prepare for his wedding and taking care of his mother. The syndicate at large treats its members as family, adherent to a code larger than street crimes. You can imagine how all of this is more interesting than a story about a bunch of greedy gang-bangers.

While the Sun On Yee is a criminal organization, it's bound by tenets of loyalty to one another and  to the well-being of the group. Members treat each other like brothers and sisters, and the organization is guided by ancient codes and laws, not just profit.

Matters in the Sun On Yee become complicated when a power struggle plagues the organization. Wei is forced to navigate an increasingly dangerous environment and build alliances with different Sun On Yee leaders, called Red Poles. His skills attract him the attention of the organization's top leadership, including the grandfatherly Uncle Po, the sadistic Henry "Big Smile" Lee, and shadowy Broken Nose Jiang.

I won't spoil the ending, but I will say that Sleeping Dogs was my favorite game of 2012 and perhaps the most underrated game I've ever played. Critics gave Sleeping Dogs positive reviews, but not the critical acclaim I feel it deserves. The storyline is so neatly woven, and Wei's ongoing character development is worthy of Bioshock-level narratives.

Sleeping Dogs has one of the best casts of characters I've ever seen in a game. Each character is well-written, their personalities are fleshed out, and they occupy diverse niches of Wei's life. They accent the conflict the character suffers.

The story of Sleeping Dogs is excellent for several reasons. It chronicles a harrowing and thrilling journey, but it also pays special attention to how that journey shapes its participants. Square Enix made sure that the narrative changed and touched each character, creating a rich and unpredictable story dynamic.

You also get the sense that Wei truly is alone in his mission. He can only interface so often with his police colleagues, creating a strong sense of isolation that keeps the story's tension high.

Everything revolves around Wei's duality as a police officer and as a gangster.

Happily enough, Square Enix compounded Sleeping Dogs' impressive story with some seriously smooth gameplay. Cover and gunfights are both fun and intuitively mapped. Cars handle smoothly and are augmented by an in-game GPS system that gives you hovering pointers and arrows in the actual game world as well as on a separate map, which is great if you're like me and have no sense of direction. The game also passively records various car records and stunts, like top speed, tricks and collisions. Of course, there's also street racing.

The best feature of Sleeping Dogs' gameplay is the hand-to-hand combat. As one might expect, martial arts factor heavily into a game based in Hong Kong. The combat is very similar to that of Batman: Arkham Asylum. Wei can switch effortlessly between various foes and unleash devastating combos and counterattacks.

The combat in Sleeping Dogs is beautifully done. The mapping, I mean, not necessarily the blood.

What else is awesome? The collectibles in this game actually serve a purpose other than just being there. I couldn't care less about collectibles that are just there for their own sake or for an achievement, but the ones in Sleeping Dogs? No. Wei Shen can find jade statues that he can trade in for new martial arts instruction, and, perhaps just as awesomely, piles of money that are just sitting around in the city. Now THOSE are collectibles I can obsess over!

The Artwork

The city of Hong Kong is a heavily detailed environment. Having been to busy Chinese cities myself, I can vouch for Square Enix's attention to everything from store layouts to mazes of bright neon signs. The character and combat animations are well-coordinated too.

There's a lot to gawk at in Sleeping Dog's rendition of Hong Kong.

The environments in this game do have a few glaring flaws, though. The biggest and most obvious is the traffic, which is extremely sparse. It would have been more convincing if the streets had been absolutely packed with cars, just like any large city but especially Chinese cities. I also feel like this complaint has gameplay merit, because I found myself waiting an absurdly long time for a car to pass by so I could hijack it. I often found it easier to simply sprint to my next destination rather than wait for a car to pass by.

Where the hell are all the cars? I know that absolutely packing them into the streets would take a lot of computing power, but surely they can put in at least a few more than this.

It's a good thing Sleeping Dogs has a lot of story and gameplay power, because it's one of the glitchiest games I've played in recent memory. The most common glitch was when Wei's clothing would suddenly freak out and revert to its basic pixels, making it look like he'd fallen into a dunking booth full of glitter. The map would sometimes turn into a giant cross of pixels, making me wonder if Square Enix was trying to hit me with subliminal messages about Jesus Christ? I don't know. None of these glitches made the game stop, but it's a lot harder for me to take Wei seriously when he's wearing what looks like a glittering rubix cube.

Step aside, assholes. The Glitter Gang has hit Hong Kong and we're going to mess some s*** up.

Should I get it?

Though the glitches can get annoying, Sleeping Dogs is definitely for any gamer searching for an in-depth, unusually fluid narrative. It's one of those rare games that has near-perfect gameplay in every sector, including gunfights, hand-to-hand combat and car chases. It also doesn't hurt to visit a setting not often seen in western video games, making for an unfamiliar but enticing set of artwork. Like I said, Sleeping Dogs was a true underdog, coming out of nowhere to become one of my favorite games. It comes highly recommended.

Next Monday's review is all about relaxing music, mysterious environments and colorful pickups. Check back then for a relatively unknown indie game that I rather enjoyed.

Shark Attack Deathmatch

Survive for ten minutes in shark-infested waters

Release: November 9, 2012 (Xbox 360)

By Ian Coppock

When I review an indie game, I usually begin the article with a barely relevant rant about how indie developers are our lords and saviors, and we should just start groveling before them as they take over the gaming world. Every once in a while, though, I stumble across an indie game that isn't so much a miracle of innovation as a piece of pure, dumb fun that truly is your money's worth (and with how expensive games are these days, how many of us can look each other in the eye and say that ALL of our games were worth $60 apiece)? I found both a hell of a bargain and a hell of an experience with Shark Attack Deathmatch. It's a suspenseful and well-designed game that only cost me $1.

The Story

As some of you may have inferred from the B-movie-esque title and general premise, Shark Attack Deathmatch has no narrative. You are a nameless scuba diver who, for whatever reason, has decided to jump face-first into a sharky patch of ocean, armed only with a slow harpoon gun and a knife. The goal of the game is to survive for 10 minutes without getting killed by one of the aforementioned great white sharks, and to rack up as many kills as possible before time runs out. 

This ocean is pretty and blue, it must therefore be safe, lied my brain.

"Wait a minute Ian!" I can telepathically hear some of you cry out. "This sounds an awful lot like Call of Duty, a game series you're well-known for disliking! Surely a premise in which you kill as many enemies as possible in 10 minutes isn't terribly unlike deathmatch mode in CoD multiplayer!"

No, in theory I suppose it isn't, but Call of Duty lacks the element of terror and suspense that comes with being alone in a murky ocean against lots of bloodthirsty killer sharks. Plus, sharks don't camp, or troll over Xbox LIVE, so your argument is invalid.

I think I'd rather have an ocean of sharks than an Internet of CoD fanboys.

Anyway, I picked this game to review because it really is just plain, honest fun. It's certainly one of the most suspenseful games I've played in a long time. You start out near the surface of the ocean and can swim over a very large area. The region encompasses a plane wreck, coral reefs, rock tunnels, a minefield, a shipwreck and lots of open areas. The downside is that there's only two maps, but still, for a dollar, that's not too shabby.

Round 1: The Minefield

My first attempt at the game saw me meandering carelessly through the azure, marveling at how good the graphics were for a $1 game. I decided to explore a shipwreck a la James Cameron and emerged into a field of mines, the giant spheres solemn monoliths to the terrors of warOH MY GOD SHARK SHARK EATING MY HEAD GAH TURN AROUND TURN AROUND TURN AROUND BLAGAAAGGGHGHGHGH!!!!!!!

Tum tee tum, check my phone, look up and *#*$#)Q)#*$&%^&!)!_!)*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you play this game, do yourself a favor: don't assume that just because a shark isn't in your field of vision, it must not be there. Only dummies like me make that mistake.

Round 2: The Coral Reef

After reattaching my limbs and siphoning approximately all of my blood back into my body, I respawned in the exact spot where I'd been mauled and swam like hell to the cover of a nearby coral reef. I crept through the foreboding rock tunnels, toting my trusty harpoon gun and glancing fearfully behind me. I came upon a sort of coral junction with an opening in the top, just in time for a shark to lazily swim overhead. I harpooned the beast; it swerved and came at me just in time for me to shoot it in the frickin' face! WOO! One shark down in 30 seconds or less! Let's see how well the remaining nine minutes and 30 seconds goes.

Apparently sharks make their homes in caves. Shark tips, tricks and more at iangetsmauledbysharks.com

Not great. I went back into my coral tunnel and found a shark waiting for me. Probably a relative of the one I just slew, which I'm sure only added to the ferocity with which it tore into my character. Round 2 over, with only one shark kill to show for it.

Round 3: ZOMBIE SHARK MODE

Aside from staying in that underwater hotel in Dubai, one of my goals in life is to go head-to-head with a zombie shark. I got to fulfill that dream with the game's zombie shark mode, in which you have to fight the undead monstrosities in a map resembling Atlantis. What practical difference is there between a shark and a zombie shark? Nothing, they both want your blood. I found this out when my character crested the top of a sunken ship, and I swear this was true, I was mauled to death by no less than five zombie sharks all chilling out on top deck. 

Oh you sons of...

Well, that was a violent story. Why tell us?

Well, awesome as it is, Shark Attack Deathmatch has no narrative. But I liked the game because it satisfied that itch for suspense and thrills that only a few games manage to give out these days. Most horror games are watered down by your character having heavy ordnance, or that the monsters are hallucinations that may startle you but don't actually threaten your character's life. 

With Shark Attack Deathmatch, you only have a small harpoon gun with which to battle legions of hungry sharks. That challenge of using limited resources to overcome huge odds is what can make or break a suspenseful game, and it's a challenge that I can't not rise to. Jumpy music starts playing every time a shark notices you, which is handy as a warning system but also raises the terror even more.

This knife sucks. Where's my Wuuthrad battleaxe from Skyrim?!?

Shark Attack Deathmatch also contained that element of resource management that can enhance a suspenseful experience. Your harpoon gun has unlimited ammo, but you must manage your health and oxygen supplies with pickups found in the ocean. These pickups are usually in exposed areas, creating a conflict between your need for safety and your need to reattach your intestines. All of these conflicts for resources and safety are what make a scary game suspenseful, and Deathmatch delivered them in such an elegantly simple way that I couldn't help but highlight that somehow.

The Artwork

Shark Attack Deathmatch has good artwork for how much the game cost. The graphics aren't Crysis-level but they're still the most impressive I've seen for an indie game. These include vivid water effects, murky environments and immersive sound effects. The sharks move realistically and react violently to your predation attempts, but the realism of their movements reinforced the feeling that I was a shark hunter, though this swiftly depleted upon being consumed by my so-called prey item.

C'mere, sharky...

The ocean also features other wildlife, though you can't shoot it with the harpoon gun. Manta rays lazily glide through the sea, and schools of fish scare the hell out of you in the coral tunnels. A big eel will occasionally swoop in around the sea mines, but the only critters you need to worry about are the great whites.

Nice work, indie peeps, this is quite lovely :D

Should I get it?

I don't think you need to be an adrenaline junkie to play Shark Attack Deathmatch, though non-adrenaline junkies might disagree. For a dollar, it's hardly the end of the world if you try it and decide it's not for you. Aside from Skyrim, Shark Attack Deathmatch might be the most bang-for-your-buck game I've ever played. You certainly get a lot of content for your money, so long as you don't mind your contents occasionally getting spilled by a hungry shark.

Thursday's review is taking us out of the ocean and into a metropolis rife with crime and awesomeness, so I'll see you then!